Other People’s Judgment

It’s not that I don’t care what people think of me. It’s just that forgivenessOther People's Judgment absolves any fear of how I might receive their point of view.

Having received the gift of forgiveness, other people’s points of view are important and relevant, but their ideas, labels and judgments are no longer permitted to dictate how I show up in the world.

To illustrate, when I was growing up, I heard from people what a terrible dancer I was. In fact, I was known in my family as the one with two left feet.

Since I adopted other people’s ideas, labels and judgments about my dance ability, I would look at how other people were dancing and try to mimic their moves, or I’d come to the dance floor with a few rehearsed moves so that I could at least not embarrass myself.

Needless to say, dancing wasn’t so much fun for me. I didn’t really see a point in it except to show off or attract guys.

…Last night I was dancing and having the time of my life. I was enjoying the other people but I wasn’t bothered by how they were dancing or how they might have expected me to dance.

My body was just being moved in whatever way my whole being felt to move, irrespective of whether it looked good or whether my dancing was even in rhythm with the music.

When a woman came up to me and asked if I was a dancer, I said “yes, tonight I am”. She said “no, I mean are you a professional dancer because you’re really good”.

I expressed appreciation for the compliment and said “no, I’m just making it up as I go along”, and then danced away with a huge shit-eating grin…seeing that the dance is just a metaphor for what occurs when the vessel known as myself is given over to the movement and flow of Spirit.

Now, I don’t know if everyone thinks I’m a good dancer…some may think I’m a total spaz.

I don’t consider myself a good or bad dancer, but when I dance, it’s natural for me to honor the movement that wants to happen through me because the whole point of dancing is experiencing the dance…and when the experience is fully allowed, passion, compassion and just plain fun express themselves without effort or cleverness.


Appreciation in Relationships

I’ve learned that nothing of this world can bring love to a relationship. Not gifts, not common interests, not children…and certainly not changing anyone’s perception.

In my experience, love spontaneously shines through my relationships when I’m not pursuing thoughts that deny love’s presence.

For example, when I got hooked the other day by the thought that my man can’t appreciate my writing, I could have pursued that thought into bitterness toward him and sadness for myself (I have many times before).

But instead, I was able to experience my perception, allow compassion for what I seemed to be wanting, and let it be. In just a few minutes, love spontaneously brought me back to appreciation for all that my man IS for me, and I experienced a beautiful heart connection with him.

Conversely, when I was focused on what my man is not, love was being denied, which made an illusion of conflict (lack of love) between us.

Moreover, I was missing the lesson that would expose the hidden judgment I was holding for myself about the way love is shared through my written words.

Now that said judgment has been exposed, it may present itself again, but clearly, it no longer has any power to make conflict in my relationship with my man.

Love has already “won” because conflict was never real (this is true even when a relationship needs to dissolve). All I need to do is recognize conflict when it arises in me, and love automatically reveals itself again…kinda like hide and seek.

Abundant blessings!

Judgment Reflected through Relationship

Yesterday I was blessed with the perception that my partner can’t appreciate my writing because it’s not nearly as spiritual as Mooji’s.

But I didn’t need to let my perception affect my authentic expression. And I didn’t need to harbor any bitterness toward him.

I just imagined what it would feel like to have a partner who sees so much value in what I share that he would be motivating me to share more and promoting me like crazy. Haha! I make it as grand as possible. I like to experience a lot of pleasure in the moment.

Then I let it go easily, because I know that my partner is only reflecting some judgment within myself that can now be released. And, I can appreciate my partner for the amazing support he shows toward the many things we value together.


Expectations in Relationship

I don’t need my man to be interested in everything that inspires me. Just like I don’t expect myself to be interested in everything that inspires him.

If he’s not interested in hearing about a certain subject or topic, I don’t need to try and change his perception. There’s quite enough to talk about that inspires the both of us.



Yesterday I was hanging out nibbling on some jelly beans when I offered some to a few of my friends who were sitting nearby. Both of them told me that they used to eat jelly beans, but it’s something they had both overcome, and now jelly beans is on their list of things to avoid.

It occurred to me that there is nothing that I need to avoid, and that I get to eat the jelly beans whenever I like because I do so with appreciation. If I happen to be eating jelly beans in the moment, I can appreciate jelly beans…and when I’m not eating jelly beans, I can appreciate something else.

I’m basically becoming the focus of my attention in the moment. If I’m appreciating, I’m becoming appreciation…If I’m avoiding, I’m becoming avoidance.

But there’s never anything that I need to avoid, because there’s so much that my attention can be used to appreciate, and when I’m appreciating, the chances of me having too much of a good thing is completely nil.

I probably had about 5-10 jelly beans (but who’s counting), and with each one I experienced a magnificent burst of flavor and sensual pleasure that can only come from the joy of being who I am. The jelly beans were only the form used to express my eternal joy for that fleeting moment, so there’s nothing for me to carry about what else eating jelly beans means for me.

In this way, I can be appreciating jelly beans in one moment and appreciating the cool grass on the soles of my feet in the next…without the hinderance of what my mind thinks to be right and wrong, it can be one big appreciation fest, wherever I happen to find myself.

In love!

Perception and Judgment

Yesterday I went hiking in a bathing suit and hiking boots. I thought the combo looked funny, but I decided I didn’t mind.

When I mentioned that the bathing suit and hiking boots look funny, someone told me that was a judgment.

Here’s the subtle nuance that I see between perception and judgment:

It’s my perception that the hiking boots and bathing suit combo is funny looking. I can trust my perception because that’s what is true for me right now.

A judgment is a conclusion that needs to be defended…like if someone else said the combo wasn’t funny looking, and I needed to convince them that my perception was correct.

Or, a judgment could manifest as a conclusion that my perception is wrong and needs to be changed. Any judgment added to perception basically causes confusion.

But since I don’t buy in to judgment, I’m free to play with my perception in any way I like. In this case, I acknowledged my perception that I look funny and decided I don’t mind.

In another case, it may appeal to me to change my clothing and or shoes. All of it is for fun and creative play.

Abundant blessings!


I can’t identify with opinions that appear to be mine. Opinions are just part of perception….which is always evolving.

In this awareness, opinions that occur to me are automatically given up to be evolved as necessary to keep my heart overflowing with love for the way things are.