No Fault

In my view, nobody is ever at fault. That’s why I’m invulnerable to victim mentality and abusiveness in my relationships.

I notice that when my mind is not preoccupied with who’s at fault, who might be at fault, or trying to defend myself against fault, I can perceive what’s really coming up to be healed by me.

In this way, when I tell of my experience of being abused as a child, the intent is to share an example of forgiveness within circumstances that seem unforgivable, not to make fault for anyone.

I give up fault not only because I love the other as myself, but also because holding fault for another makes myself a victim…which in my experience only leads to more instances of child abuse being made through my mind.

I have observed that children receive abuse from parents and caretakers who are desperately looking for relief from their victim mentality (guilty and shameful feelings made by abusive thought patterns inherited from their parents and caretakers).

As children naturally reflect whatever is held in the mind of their adult caretakers, the victimized adult sees themselves as “vindicator of righteousness” in their own mind through correcting the fault they perceive in the child…but this high self ideal never sticks and must be repeated over and over again…thus setting the child up for the same guilty and shameful cycle with the children and other people in their life.

Because I can imagine a world in which every child receives only kindness from their parents and caretakers, I know that the way for this reality has already been made. Indeed, I’ve been shown that the gentle and kind world that I imagine is the Truth that triumphs over all illusions.

In this awareness, I can easily identify abusive thought patterns, such as the idea of fault, that are responsible for manifesting as child abuse (and abuse of people in general); and when such false ideas come up in my mind, I do not give them my power of attention and belief…I stay focused on Truth instead…because Truth opens the door to forgiveness, which is the antidote to abusive thought patterns and their painful manifestations in the first place.

And so, given the possibilities that can be created through me, I can’t help but feel grateful for everything that happens and everyone who participates in every happening just as they do.

Much Aloha!

Evolution

I don’t need to try and evolve myself or anyone else…thank The Lord!

I’ve discovered that I remain unchanged while evolution of myself and everything else in the world happens on its own…

And when I’m not trying to rush the natural process of evolution…it still happens…just with more love shared between myself and all of my relations.

Much appreciation!

Attack on Joy

Recently a friend told me that I can be as joyful as I am for a very long time. She wasn’t giving me a compliment. She was trying to teach me that being joyful is great, but that it’s not going to help me “evolve” toward “instant manifestation”…which is what the world really needs from me.

Thankfully, I cannot be taught such delusions because I have seen for myself how pursuing a better version of self…or anything else of this world…leads to the rather hellish circumstances that can be witnessed in so many of our homes, in our bodies, in our governments, in our workplaces and in our natural environment. To me, all of this is the “instant manifestation” of how much joy is being avoided right now.

Yes! I felt triggered by this seemingly unfriendly attempt to make me more like someone else’s ideal, such that I noticed a bit of defensiveness coming up in me during our conversation. After this seeming attack on being joyful I noticed thoughts in me that sought to punish this woman by not paying attention to her when she’s around me, and also thoughts that sought to blame her and people like her for the discontent that can be witnessed in the world.

But I cannot be taught these delusions either because they deny me the gift of eternal joy…which causes the burden of discontent to “instantly manifest” for me.

And so, with gratitude, I allow this woman back into my heart, just as I find myself “instantly manifested” back in the realm of eternal joy.

Much appreciation!

Blame

I don’t need to defend myself when someone seems to be blaming me.

To me, blame is like an explosion of repressed judgment. It’s a delusional yet innocent attempt to divert the mind’s self attacks by attacking another self.

My part is only to hold a space of blamelessness for everyone affected by the illusion that blame is real.

Aloha!!

True Perception

My perception can never be wrong.

It’s custom-made just for me…and when I’m not trying to deny my perception or change it…I can also perceive possibilities for self expression that inspire more pleasure and joy for myself and for this world.

For instance, if I’m perceiving people to be disrespectful, rude or disparaging to me or other people, I don’t have to try and change my perception or theirs. I can watch my perception and wait until I can perceive how to express myself in a manner that leads me to perceive more respect, kindness and upliftment in the moment.

My expression could be anything from removing myself from a situation or relationship, giving someone a big hug, or speaking up for what’s right for me. There’s no right or wrong here as every situation is unique.

I just keep following the guidance within and life constantly brings more pleasure and joy for me to experience and share.

Much love!

Family Relationships

I’ve noticed that the mind tends to underestimate the power of harmonious relationships. It seeks to change the world by corralling others into agreement with its own belief system instead.

Such a caring and innocent attempt to make peace for self and others, but it just doesn’t work that way…

Peace begins with acceptance of self through relationships with others, especially those closest to us. Peace extends outward from our foundational relationships into the living world, without effort.

It’s never the other way around, lest anyone be fooled into thinking they can create peace by reaching beyond the lessons that have been placed directly in front of them.

In appreciation!

Disrespectful Kids & Teens

When it comes to kids and teenagers, I’ve observed that their disrespectful behavior is a cry for acceptance.DCIM102GOPRO

Parents are generally conditioned to hold shame for their children when they do things the parent thinks they shouldn’t, and in most parent/child relationships that I’ve observed, the parent doesn’t even recognize that they are holding anything that disparages their child.

The well meaning parent tends to act on shame in a way that seems kind and caring on the surface, but the child can sense the underlying energy, and this makes for turmoil and disrespect between parent and child.

As a parent who previously held shame for her children, I’d like to share how the shame finally let go of me. First, I let myself completely off the hook for any hurt caused by me, and I imagined what it would feel like to experience mutual respect between myself and my children.

To me, the first step is the most important because no mental pattern can be released without first being acknowledged and accepted. Next, I got very familiar with how it feels when shame is given life through me.

If any “poor me” thoughts would arise while I was wallowing in the feeling of shame I didn’t unconsciously give them my attention but I stayed with that feeling until it subsided on its own. This is where I got hooked back in many times because the temptation to multiply the energy of shame was temporarily stronger than my faith that shame is a false illusion. When this happened, I immediately fell back on step number one – letting myself off the hook and imagining the joy of having what I seemed to be wanting.

The rest was done without any effort on my part, and now I can maintain my boundaries while being in full acceptance of my kids’ expression because shame has no power over me. In fact, I have become so sensitive to shame that it’s simply too heavy for me to carry for more than a moment.

Naturally, this has created more joy in my experience of relating with my children than I could have dreamed possible only a few years ago!

This blessing is available to every parent who is willing to receive it.

In love!

Problems with Anger

Anger was a problem for me until I learned how anger could be directed asPhoto Jun 27, 6 12 30 AM inspiration in service to love. When I feel angry, I know it’s a sign that I’ve been following thoughts that have made me into a victim of circumstance.

Of course, when anger comes, so do thoughts of blame. The confused mind naturally seeks to discover who or what is responsible for my anger. But I don’t need to buy anything the mind has to offer while anger is triggered in me.

Often I feel myself get hooked by blameful thoughts, but in those instances I can trust that miracles of healing and grace are coming out of the experience; and in that trust, delusional thoughts automatically let go of me.

When my mind isn’t occupied by anger triggered thought, I can see what the anger itself is meant to teach me…

Recently, I found myself in a business deal with several others, some of whom seemed to be working as adversaries against my best efforts and against the group’s cohesion in general. Because I have a relatively high level of responsibility with regard to managing our group’s operations, I felt angry about what I was perceiving.

I noticed blame shooting from me, some of which was saying that these people make themselves victims because they think they actually have something to lose. I immediately asked myself what I think I have to lose right now, and then I allowed myself to imagine what it would feel like to have the kind of cohesive business venture that I seemed to be wanting.

Suddenly it became totally clear to me that I don’t need to pursue the present business venture under the circumstances. So I decided to excuse myself from the role I’ve been playing and to give up whatever time and money I have invested thus far.

It was like a huge weight had been lifted from me as soon as I decided to change course in this way…that’s how I knew it was the right decision for me.

To my surprise, after I communicated my decision, some of those people who seemed to be adversaries are now stepping forward and expressing their willingness to learn how to support our business entity and one another as we navigate the system with the focused intent to create abundance, sustainability and community.

I cannot know how this will go, but it’s fun and inspiring to play with the process again. Thank you anger for being such a wise teacher!

Much love!!

Compassionate Connection

Every trigger is rich with gifts of clarity, insight and transformation.Photo Jun 27, 3 17 01 PM

I’m committed to staying present so that I can receive and share those gifts.

This past weekend, I attended a compassionate connections workshop. I didn’t know anything about the workshop, except that my friend, Megan Cannon, who has been a beautiful example of compassion for me, was leading yoga for the workshop…and I was immediately led to show up there.

The very first trigger happened for me before the workshop even begun, when I experienced a woman who was expressing her emotions in a way that triggered a feeling of irritation and annoyance in me. Because of the commentary that was playing in my mind, she appeared weak, needy and demanding of other people.

Because I recognized this commentary as a pattern that has been playing for me for as long as I could remember, I did not pursue the commentary with my attention. Instead, I directed my attention to feeling the triggered feeling that was coming up in me.

Then I watched as another woman in the group gave voice to the thoughts that were vying for my attention. I noticed the tendency of my mind to agree with the sentiments being reflected by the second woman…kinda like “yeah chick…don’t you see that you’re disrupting the whole group with your demands for attention and respect? It’s only because you think you need these things that you don’t receive them…and it’s not like it’s everyone else’s responsibility to give these things to you.”

l laughed inside when I saw these judgments play out in me, coupled with the irritation and annoyance that were being pointed to as “proof” that said judgments were really true. I was able to experience both of these women plus the thoughts, feelings and judgments that were coming up for me.

Then I watched as my friend, Megan offered a small thing from Megan’s perspective, that was obviously a big thing from the other’s woman’s perspective. I witnessed the appreciation that the woman reflected for Megan because that small gesture made her feel included, respected and understood.

To my surprise, amazement and delight, the woman who appeared needy came right up to where I was sitting on the first break and started relating with me from a very open space. Normally a woman who showed herself to be this needy to my mind would not feel to relate with me like this because the judgment projected by me would close her off even more.

But this is yet another example of the forgiveness that arises without effort when thoughts of separation are recognized for what they are. I’m not talking about forgiveness for her acting like anything that I didn’t like. I’m talking about forgiveness for the judgments that arise in my mind in the instant they are being presented as truth.

Out of the three women, my mind related more with the woman who represented strength and self sufficiency to me…not the “needy” one, and not the “compassionate” one. But it turned out that the one who appeared “needy” to me was the one that seemed to be the most drawn to me.

I could tell that paying attention to her for as long as she could stand to be around me was what I was being called to experience. I just kept watching as the triggers arose and receded again, and I also watched as my mind jumped to try and fix her.

Because we were a triad with Megan for the first few days, I got to witness how Megan responded with understanding and empathy to this woman’s projections of self doubt and perceived limitations. After the second day, Megan left the group, and I was on my own with this woman.

I witnessed the apprehension and self doubt in my mind that I would trigger this woman into closing herself off and alienating herself from me…as this has been my experience for such a long time. But that didn’t happen this time…not because I used a new and improved method of fixing her, but because I was way more interested in connecting with her than in trying to improve her life experience.

She expressed so much appreciation for all that I shared with her, that I felt led to share the judgments about her that were playing in my mind, and how my experience of her has been one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. Now she plans to spend time with me in Puna and possibly even be the first representative for Miracle Botanicals, my line of aromatherapy products.

I love my triggers and embrace my pain, as it’s been proven to my mind that these are the access points to intimate connection, communion and understanding…which are the human longings that are most often sought to be fulfilled through mental strategies. I can see now that reliance on these strategies instead of loving in the moment at hand is what leads to hurt feelings and a sense of being unfulfilled for everyone involved.

Nothing will ever be the same for me now that my mind has been exposed to this deep wisdom.

Much appreciation!