Possessive Relationships

One thing that makes romantic partnership difficult is the idea of possessing one another.

There is nothing that can be possessed…and I’ve found that it takes both partners allowing the other to be as the are for intimacy to deepen over time.

In common relationships, there is romantic fire, which leads into two people having expectations of one another…this is commonly called love. But where there is true love, there is no expectation, and while there can be commitment,there is no attachment.

What do I mean by true love and no attachment? I’m speaking about a perspective that whatever happens is meant to be, even if that means going separate ways.

About 15 years ago, when my husband and I were about to get married, he asked me if I was nervous about marrying him, and I responded “no, there’s always divorce”. He seemed a bit offended by this, but then quickly realized that there was freedom in such a perspective.

We don’t try to control each other’s behavior by pulling the spouse card. For instance, we’re both committed to a monogamous relationship, but we don’t try to make sure that the other partner doesn’t cheat.

We are free to come and go as we please, and if either one of us is drawn toward sexual intimacy with another person, our commitment to one another is ended….And there’s no problem in this.

In this way, we remain monogamous because we authentically enjoy sexual exclusivity with one another, not because it’s a habit, or because we’re obligated, or because it’s the right thing to do.

There are many styles of romance available. For me, the key to romantic happiness is finding what works from my point of view, and living it without expecting my man to conform.

We are free to relate however we choose, and as long as our way of relating resonates with the other’s personal style, we are together. So far it’s been 20 years of deepening intimacy, expanding appreciation and awakening our minds.

I’m very grateful for each moment I get to experience us, without anxiety about what will become of me when our partnership dissolves…because every partnership dissolves…it’s only a matter of time.

May every heart be free. Aloha!!

Sex and Faking it

Through my early experiences in dating and relationships, I learned to pretend like I was enjoying sex even when I was not. I tried being honest about what sensations I was feeling up until I was about 21 years old, but after being rejected a few times for not “getting into it enough” with guys I thought were really great, I decided that in order to be accepted by any man I needed to express pleasure in response to All of his sexual efforts.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy sex much of the time…it’s just that when I wasn’t enjoying it, I chose to keep egos intact instead of being authentic…because I was afraid of being rejected. Following this choice, I became a believer in the “fake it till you make it” philosophy because I experienced that my body did respond favorably…often leading to one or many orgasms.

In this way, much of my sexual practice was really a form self masturbation…using a partner sort of as a sexual object…while helping to feed his illusion that he was “making me cum”…oh yeah baby! Lol!

I can see that this strategy was quite valuable, useful and served me well for the time I believed in certain illusions….And it’s now apparent to me that said strategy was also a barrier to deepening intimacy and awakening the mind.

I’ve also come to recognize that pursuing or initiating sex has never felt natural for me, and I only did it because I believed it was what I needed to do in order to get love.

As soon as I became aware that these strategies were playing themselves out through me, they could no longer persist. At first there was a bit of anxiety about this, but over time my mind has become perfectly content with sexual authenticity…even it speaks to sexual insecurity…and even it means I’ll have experiences of being rejected.

After all, every interaction can either awaken the mind or perpetuate illusions…and sex is no exception.

May everyone be free to express themselves authentically. Blessings!

Emotions in Perspective

When I speak of love, compassion and appreciation, I’m not speaking of emotions.

These are words that describe the perspective from which the full range of emotions is meant to be experienced.

From said perspective, it’s impossible to act out of emotional ignorance, and therefore peace and harmony (God’s love) prevails in every circumstance.

And if ever I find myself taken by emotion, I can and do choose to return to the benevolent perspective whereby all matters of ignorance immediately resolved.

Much love!

Who is “Me”?

The unconscious mind thinks of Me as a person who has emotions, but I know that I have always been the observer of both. I also know that I am the same silent witness who’s observing all persons from every possible perspective.

For instance, I am observing myself from the perspective as myself while I’m also observing myself from the perspective of every other individual who observes me in this form. Many different perspectives, but the same silent witness…the same God who moves and breathes every being in creation.

The game is over! In this awareness, stress, fear and personal conflict have no sway over me. They come up, and are fully welcome here, but nothing moves me from love, compassion and appreciation for everything exactly as it is.

May every heart dwell in this Peace. Aloha!

Punishment from God

It’s a grave error to think that any happening of this world is punishment from God. God’s punishment is experienced as present moment suffering… And even this is not really punishment at all.

Suffering is God’s message that the mind is focused on fearful things, and is being invited to repent or return to fearless appreciation for what is, what was and what is coming. To fear things of this world is to bring the wrath of suffering upon one self, but to surrender fear in the face of fearful things is to allow layers of pain and suffering to be washed away…and the original state of peace and harmony to be revealed.

So I beckon you in the words of Jesus the Christ to “Repent, the Kingdom of Heaven is at Hand”. To repent is simply to stop chasing the mind’s intrigues and pay attention to what you feel.

Abundant blessings!

Peaceful Outcomes

While different personalities are praying/hoping/visualizing for different outcomes with respect to the lava flow near the town where I live….I can only imagine that whatever the outcome…everyone will be brought closer to sharing in this state of Peace that’s not dependent on any outcome.

This is because I’m aware that every happening has but one purpose…awakening the mind out of the dream of suffering. To invest energy in any other purpose is to pursue the dream and thus delay the inevitable.

I don’t mind what anyone chooses, but I’ll be here holding the space of sweet surrender for those who are inspired to join me.

In appreciation!

Death is an Illusion

There is no death. The idea that anyone can be put out of their misery is an illusion. The experience of pain and suffering without wisdom is what gives power to such an insane idea.

In fact, the majority of human relationships to religion and spirituality are based on the concept that this life is miserable, and that if they are obedient to certain precepts their misery will be magically removed by a higher power.

I tell the infallible truth when I say that this way of perceiving life causes misery to multiply, and until the root insanity is recognized there can be no real relief from pain and suffering.

The only way out is through the sensations as they arrive and depart within the physical structure. The one who’s willing to give up all thought and turn attention to the body’s sensations will receive revelations as to the root cause of all forms of misery.

In every instance that attention is turned from mind to sensation wisdom develops within, and any wisdom that’s developed can never be destroyed…not even through physical death.

I invite everyone to drop ideas of “my pain”, “my disease”, “my anger”, and simply embrace the feeling sensation that these guests bring to your awareness. I promise that they bear gifts of infinite wisdom if you will only stop permitting the mind to identify them as yours while trying to push them away.

May the all consuming fire of ultimate peace, comfort and happiness prevail in every being until the roots of pain and suffering are completely disintegrated.

In love!

Earth Day

I’ve been intuitively aware this whole lifetime that Mother Earth does not need my concern. Now I’m experientially aware that while all material forms, including human bodies are born out of Earth elements….every material form, including Earth herself is only a temporary reflection of the mind.

In this awareness it’s become plainly obvious that to demand clean air, clean water and/or clean food is to project discontent with what is…which causes Earth to reflect more dis-ease back to all of her inhabitants.

I realize that everything is changing according to what’s being received and offered in the mind, and that through my offering of contentment with what is, my natural preference for the best possible air/water/food quality is being offered without desire or resistance.

Because I know this deeply, I can’t help but be content with whatever form of air/water/food I’m presently receiving, while offering only compassion both for those who seek to rape the earth for profit, and for those who protest against them. For I can see that these are two sides of the same thread of misery.

May everyone come out of the sleep induced by self important fear, and realize that there is only Heaven here now.