Hope is not anybody special. She has the same capacity as every person to be a selfless vessel for the all loving and creative principal.
Until she was 11 years old, hope was raised by a group of traveling Christian missionaries. In her early childhood, much of Hope’s time was spent memorizing Bible verses, praying, witnessing, busking and playing with friends and siblings.
At age 11, Hope’s father moved from USA to Japan, and Hope stayed with her mother, who was no longer living a missionary lifestyle. Hope felt awkward around school kids since being cool seemed to be associated with acting mean. Hope would naturally return meanness with kindness….she was friendly and personable with everyone and had no set group of friends.
Even though they weren’t missionaries anymore, Hope and her family was moved from place to place and Hope was moved from school to school…usually within 6 months. She connected with people wherever she went and spoke of a kind and loving God.
Hope was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by her stepfather, who stepped into the picture when hope was 5years old. This was a cause for much confusion in Hope’s mind since she didn’t understand how a kind and loving God could allow such things.
Hope felt great compassion for her stepfather at times and at other times she had visions of him being beaten bloody. This was a cause for intense conflict in Hope’s experience.
At age 21, Hope decided that Jesus and God were only make believe, and she stopped praying. She met her future husband who believed that everything comes to a person through hard work and self reliance…and that there was no God.
Hope and her husband practiced hard work and self reliance for many years, while raising 3 kids. They were pretty successful in worldly terms, but at about age 31, Hope felt very strongly that something was wrong.
Her relationship with her husband was turning sour, as their attention was constantly focused on getting more money to maintain and expand their lifestyle. She also had a very tense relationship with her preteen daughter, whom she was trying to mold into a happy and productive member of society.
Hope still didn’t pray, or utter the words “Help me Jesus”. She wasn’t defiant. She just really believed there was no help available.
Then, one day her sister-in-law gave Hope a popular new age book called The Secret, which was a glimmer of light for Hope. She started to devour books and recordings on New Age philosophy, which mostly calmed Hope’s anxiety about working hard and relying on herself, and her relationship with her husband was improving.
However, Hope was still experiencing intense anger and violent thoughts toward her mom and stepfather for the years of abuse that she endured. And naturally, Hope was dealing with health issues.
She had tried many different sorts of doctors and treatments, but nothing would cover up her physical complaints for very long.
Intuitively, Hope began to pay attention to her body sensations and listening to what was being spoken in her mind. It was a gradual process, but Hope’s chronic health issues and mean-spirited thoughts toward her parents lightened up substantially.
Hope and her family moved to the Big Island of Hawaii in 2010 at the age of 37 with her husband and 2 young sons. Hope had no idea how she and her family would be supported in Hawaii, but she just knew that everything would work out.
This was Hope’s first time, in 17 years of being a mother that she didn’t have a job or business to keep her occupied, and she became painfully aware of intense conflict between herself and her young boys.
Hope recognized that she always felt trapped by her kids, and at the time she felt more trapped than ever, even though her husband mostly took care of them. Hope generally felt that kids were annoying and disruptive, and she often condemned herself for having kids in the first place.
Hope thought she would be free to pursue spirituality and her career as a spiritual teacher if she didn’t have kids. The suffering over this thought was quite intense. (Hope often felt like she was being punched in the mouth.)
Hope conceptually understood the principals of spirituality, but she was not able to make it work in her experience. Hope felt very ashamed of herself.
….until Hope recognized that there was nobody to be ashamed of because there are no separate and autonomous individuals!
With this recognition, Hope’s gaze upon her kids, herself and the world softened. Instead of trying to avoid reacting to her experience, she was welcoming reactions into her body as invaluable teachers.
Through soft surrender, which took hold in August, 2014, Hope ‘s world changed. She fell in love with her boys and her adult daughter, and for the first time began to experience appreciation for having children.
Hope became less interested in spiritual debate, or thoughts about herself or anyone else being wrong, bad or mistaken; and much more interested in whatever was being sensed in her body.
In challenging moments, when it seemed like the situation was unbearable, Hope would find herself thinking “Help Me Jesus”, and her attention was immediately focused back on welcoming sensation.
As her attention was being refocused over and over again, Hope watched everything in her life transform…almost magically.
As of the time of this writing (August 2015) Hope experiences harmony in All of her relationships, she’s inspired by her work with essential oils and with people who are drawn to ultimate freedom, and her heart is constantly glad.