Rude Kids and Teens

Kids and teenagers act rude when they feel pressured, controlled and mistrusted.  
Adults who have not accepted that they themselves are completely supported, free and trustworthy wish kids and teens would act differently.
And it’s considered responsible according to society’s standards for adults to pursue that wish by teaching kids and teens to obey authority and cover up their true feelings…just as they themselves have learned to do. 
But everyone is only and always a child at heart, and everybody can develop the capacity to receive and share the Gift of loving kindness. 
It’s just a matter of unlearning the teachings of an insane world…which occurs naturally through acceptance of the Divinity that shines within and through everybody. 
Thank you for being! I love you!

Kids and Respect – Part 2

Respect. It’s what parents think they want from their kids.


So, one might ask, “how do I get respect from my kids without demanding it”? But even that is nothing more than an attempt to gain a survival skill in a world built upon made-up constructs. You are so much more powerful than that!


In a sense, it’s true that what you “give” you are always going to “get” back, but to the confused mind takes this to mean You give love, you get love – You give money, you get a product – You give labor, you get a paycheck.


In reality everything is arising from out of the collective consciousness. In this way, you are really only “giving” a vibrational frequency that matches your mental state, and you are really only “getting” the mathematical equivalent of every mental state that has already been broadcast from your point of view.


Notice that in expecting a child to show respect, the adult is already coming from a point of view that’s lacking respect, and within this blind expectation there’s not even a question as to why respect appears to be missing in the first place.


Because this expectation largely goes unquestioned, children are being used to act out the “adult” idea of respect,while the feeling of disrespect grows in intensity for everyone involved. Until there’s a demand for recognition of what’s really going on, this unconscious charade will continue to make discomfort and suffering for the human experience.


So, if disrespect or fear of disrespect is showing up in your experience, remember that it has nothing to do with another person. Of course, the mind will say that you need to get respect or you could be ruined, but what the mind isn’t seeing is that the outer world is only a reflection of what’s inside, and that it’s way easier to let the projection lighten up than to wrestle with the reflection.


Who are you to feel disrespected? Question every thought about respect and what that means to who you think you are. If you’re willing to experience whatever is arising, you will be made aware of what believing unreality feels like. And once that happens, the idea of needing respect will be irrelevant for you.

Kids and Respect – Part 1

As soon as a child is able to exercise natural free will, they are trained by parents, family members, teachers and even random people to “show” respect–to whomever. On the surface that seems innocent, even just, however peeling away the layers of “respect” will reveal its service to the dis-ease of humanity.


Specifically, children are trained to automatically respect their parents, respect their elders, respect their teachers, and even respect their toys. The truth behind this automatic respect building is that it is self-serving.


The common adult mind thinks it needs to teach children how to act respectful, and so it teaches children how to display the kind of behavior that makes an adult feel respected. But this has nothing to do with being respectful.


True respectfulness is the automatic expression emanated from a person who holds no disrespect; it’s not an act that’s turned on to please other people. Since most adult minds hold disrespect for their self, children are often used to cover that up with an act of respect for the adults.


These children are in turn being taught to be adults that pretend to need respect from other people, and this insanity goes on because people are largely unwilling to recognize the ways in which they follow thought that disrespects their own self.


They are not willing to see that children, other people and even the self are not capable of reflecting any behavior that’s not projected by their own state of mind. This unwillingness is secured by fear of death, which is what can happen to a separate person in a world where that person is not respected.


But such a person does not exist except in thought. You are not that person, or any person for that matter. You are the one who decides whether to give attention to thoughts that disrespect your self or not. So, you’re invited let the keiki (kids) be as they are and look at what’s really going on.

Freedom of Choice

It’s simply insane – the belief that the Child needs discipline, pressure and/or manipulation in order to be deserving of love. What’s really desired for the child is Freedom – the same Freedom our Free Spirit desires for ourselves – but which we are too fearful to allow.

Because we do not recognize this self created conflict between Free Spirit and the make believe self, we unwittingly do everything we can to suppress Free Spirit by believing our own judgments and enforcing them on our children.

In the name of responsible parenting, we raise our kids to hold the same limitations about the world and about themselves that we have been unwilling to give up. We teach them that without our ‘guidance’, they would be unloveable, unworthy, and that they would fail.

If we knew our own being, we would not pretend that disciplining the child can create love, value or success for them. We’d allow them to make their own choices and to be responsible for those choices – while enjoying our experience of them.

But instead we largely operate from this fantasy that we are responsible for the Child’s choices, and we don’t want to look bad, or be upset if our child suffers or creates suffering. So we opt for the illusion of control.

There’s freedom in knowing that we have the freedom to choose, and that we are choosing in each moment. The experience of such self responsibility is what allows the creative genius in each of us to blossom.

The child is already free – the whole structure of discipline and rules is a mindset the child will break as soon as they become aware of their power. In this way, the child does not need anyone to set them free, but by extending freedom to the child, we extend it to all of Life, and that opens ourselves to receive the experience of more creativity, peace, abundance and joy.

What does it take to extend freedom to the child? Simply notice when we are trying to make the child ‘better’ than they are right now, or than they can be without our input. This is illusion! We are just fooling ourselves by believing that disciplining, pressuring or otherwise manipulating the Child is going to create anything we actually want.

Just notice. That’s all there is to do. You are the Light in your own dark room. Be in awareness.

Loving Children

Children raised in loving acceptance for all of their behavior become grown ups who don’t need to steal, harm, etc…because they feel complete within themselves.

This is quite a bit different than refraining from criminal activity because of boundaries imposed by other people, and fear of punishment.


When we make other people follow our rules for living, we create suffering for everyone. NoBody, not children, employees, countries, the self etc. deserve to have discipline imposed upon them.

Commitment to live the virtues of Love is born out of experimentation, stillness and self reflection.

But when people are forced to conform to the disciplinarian’s code of conduct (even when done out of love), the energy that would have expressed otherwise breeds quiet desperation, resentment and dis-ease.

People simply can’t be kept in check forever. Eventually their inner pain will materialize in the world of form.
This plays out as abuse of all kinds, terrorism, war, accidents, illness and suicide.

The most difficult thing for the conditioned mind is to just let people (self and others) be as they are, and attend to any emotional discomfort that arises around our perception of the offending behavior. This is especially true when it comes to our children, whom we think we are supposed to mold into decent people.

But know that this is a necessary thing if we intend our individual and collective experience to be moved toward Peaceful Freedom. We are fully supported whether we choose Control or Freedom – and whatever we choose will be exponentially reflected back to us.

Familial Obligations

All obligations are made up, including Familial Obligations.

To the extent you feel obligated to make your family members happy with you, your own experience of enjoyment is being resisted. Likewise, to the extent you expect your family members to make you happy, your own experience of enjoyment is being resisted.

Allowing Freedom for You and all others, as individual creators of their own experience, opens new energetic channels whereby you can experience more enjoyment than ever thought possible. Sometimes this means setting boundaries between your individual self and family members who insist that you are responsible for their dis-ease.

You are worthy of more Joy than you can presently imagine. By recognizing your obligations as FALSE, you give your self permission to go there.

Happy New World!!

The Child has Come

The Child has Come to Lead the Way toward Your Heart’s Desires. But the Mind-Made self wants to Condition the Child to Carry Your Fears Forward, and thereby Resist this Movement.To Let the Child BE, Simply stop buying into thoughts that say the Child needs to be Influenced, Controlled, Molded or Manipulated.

Parents Frustrated with Wiggly Kids

Here’s a response I wrote in response to a reporter’s questions at

What do you know about a parent’s frustration with wiggly kids? Parents who are frustrated with wiggly kids hold a belief that kids should not wiggle – it’s the same belief they were conditioned with as children – and now they think they need to control their own kids in order to make them behave the ‘right’ way.

Why are they often frustrated with their inability to sit still especially when doing homework or another task that requires concentration? Forcing children to sit still and concentrate sets them up for a lifetime of doing things that they are not passionate about. Specifically, the body of a child is made to move…a lot, but many times the conventional education system and conditioned parent decide against what’s natural and healthy for the child. This in turn teaches the child to ignore his/her innate guidance system, and go along with the crowd instead. This is the beginning of mental and physical dis-ease.

Why do some kids need to wiggle/move constantly? Some children need to wiggle and move constantly because that’s what they are doing. It’s up to the parent to communicate with their child and to facilitate activities that make joyful use of that energy. When children do not want to sit still and do homework or anything else, that’s because they do not need to be doing them.

Can an argument be made that it helps them focus? Yes. It helps them to focus when kids are allowed to move according to their instinct. It helps them to focus on the only thing that has enduring value – Life as experienced through nature of their soul – instead of through a set of conditioned beliefs about how they should act.

What is the typical result of a parent telling their child to stop wiggling? The typical result of a parent telling a child to stop wiggling is frustration – a sure sign that one is moving in opposition to the truth.

How would you suggest the parent approaches this situation? Let them wiggle as much as they want. When the child is done wiggling they will stop, and if the child becomes interested in the information the parent is trying to present, it will be made obvious.

Something that can help a parent face their own frustration while allowing the child to be who they are is Pure Essential Oil of Rose. Rose essential oil opens the heart and encourages a person to operate from a place of love and wholeness while exposing the untruth of rigid conditioning about how kids ‘should’ act.

Essential Oil for Children

Babies and children have an especially sensitive sense of smell.  Therapeutic essential oils are very potent and should not be administered around children’s face/nose.  It takes only six weeks for babies to recognize their mother’s scent and distinguish between their mother’s and someone else’s undershirt.  Fragrance may be the first secret love bond of life, connecting mother and child in a wonderful way.

Essential Oils for Infants and Toddlers

Essential Oil Drops:  Per age, per 25 ml carrier oil.  The following drops of essential oils may be added to 25 ml carrier oil:

Child’s Age Application
Babies 0-3 months: No essential oils – carrier oils only.  Almond and olive oil are most suitable
Babies 3 – 6 months 1 drop
Babies 6-12 months: 1 drop
Toddlers age 1-2 years 1-2 drops

Essential oils Suitable for BABIES

  • 0-3 months – Carrier oils only – Almond or Olive oil

  • 3-6 months:  Bergamot, Grapefruit, Lemon, Mandarin, Neroli, Petitgrain and Tangerine.

  • 6-12 months:  Bergamot, Grapefruit, Lemon, Mandarin, Neroli, Petitgrain, Tangerine, Benzoin, Chamomile Roman, Eucalyptus, Lavender, Tea Tree and Niaouli.

  • After 12 months:  Bergamot, Grapefruit, Lemon, Mandarin, Neroli, Sweet Orange, Petitgrain, Tangerine, Benzoin, Chamomile Roman, Eucalyptus, Lavender, Tea Tree, Niaouli, Camphor, Clove, Frankincense, Lemon Verbena, Palmarosa, Patchouli, Sandalwood, vetiver, Ylang ylang

There are many synthetic oils on the market.  Do not use synthetic oils on babies, children or any other person.

Essential Oils UNSUITABLE for Babies

The following essential oils must not be used on babies or children:  German Chamomile, cedarwood, cinnamon, clary sage, aniseed, arnica, basil, black pepper, cajeput, cypress, fennel, geranium, ginger, hyssop, jasmine, juniper, marjoram, melissa, myrrh, nutmeg, peppermint, pine, rose, rosemary, sage, thyme.

The value of aromatherapy essential and carrier oils, combined with massage, is enormous.  If the correct oils are used in their correct dosage, the benefits are endless as there are no side effects, only advantages.  Children respond very well to aromatherapy and enjoy the sweet fragrances as much as adults do.

If children are hyperactive after attending a birthday party and having loaded themselves with sugar, lavender and other balancing oils which have a calming effect can soothe them  Coughs, colds and runny noses can quickly be treated with the essential oils to prevent further spread of respiratory infections.  Eczema, asthma, abdominal cramps and other conditions respond well to the essential oils.

Essential Oil Drops for Young Children and Adolescents

The following calculations may be used as a guideline when mixing essential oils with 25 ml carrier oils for children and adolescents


  • Half their age per drop but do not exceed their age per drop.

  • Example:  Child 6:  3-6 drops.  Calculate as follows:  3 (half the age) to 6 (not exceeding the age) drops essential oil to 25 ml carrier oil.


  • Do no exceed 2 drops per 10 kg (22lbs) and 1 drop per 5 kg (11 lbs).  Do not exceed maximum, which is 15 drops.

  • Example 1:  Child age 12 weight 50 kg (110 lbs):  6-12 drops essential oils as per above calculation. For the weight (50kg (110lbs at 2 drops per 10 kg), the ideal number of drops would be 10 drops.

  • Example 2: Youth age 15 weighs 75kg (165lbs) 8-15 drops essential oils as per above calculation.  For the weight (75kg at 2 drops per 10 kg and 1 drop er 5 kg), the ideal number of drops would be 15 as per the age, weight and the maximum drops used.

The following tables may serve as a guideline.  Note:  The table ‘Drops per Age’ is a separate table to ‘Drops per Weight’ and they are not intended to correspond with each other, i.e. a child age 2 does not necessarily weight 10 kg (22 lbs) and a child age 3 does not necessarily weight 15 kg (33 lbs) – use these tables independent of each other and refer to either age or weight.

Essential Oil Drops per AGE
per 25 ml Carrier Oil

Children age 2 years:  
1-2 drops
Children age 3 years
2-3 drops
Children age 4 years
2-4 drops
Children age 5 years:
3-5 drops
Children age 6 years:
3-6 drops
Children age 7 years:
4-7 drops
Children age 8 years:
4-8 drops
Children age 9 years:
5-9 drops
Children age 10 years:
5-10 drops
Children age 11 years
5-11 drops
Children age 12 years
6-12 drops
Children age 13 years
6-13 drops
Children age 14 years
7-14 drops
Children age 15 years
8-15 drops
Children age 16 years
8-15 drops
Children age 17 years
9-15 drops
Children age 18 years
9-15 drops
Do not exceed maximum, which is 15 drops

Essential Oil Drops per WEIGHT
per 25 ml Carrier Oil

10 kg – 22 lbs 2 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
15kg    33 lbs 3 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
20 kg   44 lbs 4 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
25 kg   55 lbs 5 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
30 kg   66 lbs 6 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
35 kg   77 lbs 7 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
40 kg   88 lbs 8 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
45 kg   99 lbs 9 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
50 kg   110 lbs 10 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
55 kg   127 lbs 11 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
60 kg   132 lbs 12 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
65 kg   143 lbs 13 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
70 kg   154 lbs 14 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
75 kg   165 lbs 15 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
80 kg   176 lbs 15 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
85 kg   187 lbs 15 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
90 kg   198 lbs 15 drops essential oils per 25 ml of carrier oil.
Caution:  Do not exceed maximum, which is 15 drops

The same rule which applies to adults applies to children:  Do not use more than double the amount of essential oils per week.


Child age 5:  3-5 drops per 25 ml carrier oil
:  per week:  6-10 drops in total

Child age 13:  6-12 drops per 25 ml carrier oil
: per week:  12-24 drops in total

Children’s Baths

Children benefit therapeutically from essential oils used in their baths, but it is necessary to exercise caution when using essential oils.  It is important not to exceed the recommended drops and to dilute skin irritant oils in 5 ml carrier oil (or bath gel) before adding to the bath.  Non-irritant oils need to be well dispersed before children immerse.  The following table is a guideline:

Drops for a Bath –
Essential Oil drops per age
Formulate in accordance with drops per age
Children age 1-2 years:
1 drop

Children age 3-4 years:
2 drops

Children age 5-6 years:
3 drops

Children age 7-12 years:  4 drops

Children age 13 -16 years:
6 drops

Youth age 17 – 18 years:  6 drops

Youth age 18+ years:
6-8 drops

Refreshing:  Mandarin and Petitgrain

Restless:  Lavender

Soothing:  Lavender and Roman Chamomile or bergamot

Cold / flu:  Eucalyptus and tea tree

Colic:  Roman Chamomile and lemon or grapefruit

Nausea:  Tangerine and Lemon verbena

Headache:  Lavender

Important Points to Remember

  • Do not treat ill children without them having consulted a qualified medical practitioner, homeopath, chiropractor or any other registered professional.

  • Do not apply essential oils around baby / toddler’s face/nose.  It is best to apply to bottoms of feet. There is always a possibility that they may rub them in their eyes or get some on their hands and put them in their mouth.  Essential oils are powerful but must always be used with caution.

  • Do not contradict or discontinue treatment prescribed by above mentioned professional.  Apply aromatherapy in conjunction with prescribed treatment or medication.

  • Use oils for minor ailments such as cuts, grazes, minor burns, bruises, insect bites or stings.  Do not overlook the importance of medical attention for serious or major conditions.

  • Never use undiluted essential oils.  Exceptions are made with lavender and or minor burns, cuts, stings, etc.

  • Never administer oils orally.

  • Never apply oils internally.

  • Essential oils used in a bath should be diluted in a carrier oil (of bath gel).  Never use skin irritant oils undiluted.

  • Essential oils used in a bath must not exceed the drops allowed as stipulated in the “essential oil Drops per Age’ table.

  • Essential oils used in a massage must not exceed the drops allowed as stipulated in the “Essential Oils Drops per Age’ table.

  • Before using an essential oil, check the safety of the oil and the recommended drops.

  • Steam inhalation treatments for children are shorter than for adults. Start with a few seconds, slowly increasing with each treatment by half a minute until 1-2 minutes have been reached.

  • Do not leave children unattended with steam inhalations or any other heat treatment.

  • Do not leave children unattended with diffusors.

  • Do no leave children in a room with doors closed with essential oils in vaporizer.

  • Keep undiluted, as well as diluted essential oils out of children’s reach.

  • Do not use hazardous oils.

  • Only use “child-friendly’ essential oils.

  • Do not allow children to pour essential oils into their baths, or any other treatment variation unless closely supervised, as they may exceed the limit of the drops allowed.

References:  Aromatherapy for Natural Health and Beauty by Cecilia Salvesen

Essential Oil Uses for Babies and Children

See the Common and Botanical Name Index for the botanical name of each oil listed below.

Colic: Bergamot, ginger, mandarin, marjoram, Roman chamomile, rosemary, or ylang ylang. Blend: Combine 2 Tbsp. Almond oil with 1 drop Roman chamomile, 1 drop lavender, and 1 drop geranium. Mix and apply to stomach and back. Note: Burping the baby, and keeping the abdomen warm with a warm (not hot) water bottle will often bring relief.

Common Cold: Cedarwood, lemon, Melaleuca ericifolia, rosemary, rose, sandalwood, or thyme. Blend: Combine 2 Tbsp. vegetable oil with 2 drops melaleuca (Tea Tree), 1 drop lemon, and 1 drop rose otto. Massage a little of the blend on neck and chest.

Constipation: Ginger, mandarin, orange, or rosemary. Dilute one of the oils and massage on stomach and feet.

Cradle Cap: Blend: Combine 2 Tbsp. almond oil with 1 drop lemon and 1 drop geranium or with 1 drop cedarwood and 1 sandalwood. Mix and apply a small amount on head.

Croup: Marjoram, ravensara, rosewood, sandalwood, or thyme. Dilute for massage or diffuse. Bundle baby or child up and take outside to breathe cold air.

Crying: Cypress, frankincense, geranium, lavender, Roman chamomile, rose otto, or ylang ylang. Dilute for massage or diffuse.

Diaper Rash: Lavender (dilute and apply). Blend: Combine 1 drop Roman chamomile and 1 drop lavender with vegetable oil and apply.

Digestion (sluggish): Lemon or orange. Dilute and massage feet and stomach.

Dry Skin: Rosewood or sandalwood. Dilute and apply.

Earache: Lavender, melaleuca (Tea Tree), Melaleuca ericifolia, Roman chamomile, or thyme (sweet). Put a diluted drop of oil on a cotton ball and place on the surface of the ear; rub a little bit of diluted oil behind the ear. Blend: Combine 2 Tbsp. vegetable oil with 2 drops lavender, 1 drop Roman chamomile, and 1 drop melaleuca (Tea Tree). Put a drop on a cotton ball and put on surface of the ear, rub behind the ear and on the ear Vita Flex feet points.

Fever: Lavender. Dilute in vegetable oil and massage baby or child (back of neck, feet, behind ear, etc.). Peppermint (diffuse only).

Flu: Cypress, lemon, Melaleuca ericifolia. Dilute 1 drop of each in 1 Tbsp. bath gel base for a bath or diffuse.

Hiccoughs: Mandarin. Diffuse

Jaundice: Geranium, lemon, lime, mandarin, or rosemary. Dilute and apply on the liver area and on the liver Vita Flex feet points.

Premature: Since premature babies have very thin and sensitive skin, it is best to avoid the use of essential oils.

Rashes: Lavender, Roman chamomile, rose otto, or sandalwood. Dilute and apply.

Teeth Grinding: Lavender (rub on feet).

Tonsillitis: Ginger, lavender, lemon, or melaleuca (Tea Tree), Roman chamomile. Dilute and apply.

Thrush: Geranium, lavender, lemon, Tea Tree, rosewood, or thyme. Dilute and apply. Blend: 2 Tbsp. garlic oil, 8 drops lavender, Tea Tree, 1 ml. Vitamin E oil. Apply to nipples just before nursing, or with a clean finger into baby’s mouth