The need to stop anyone's behavior or wait for their behavior to change is based on the false idea that Peace can be created through control and suppression.
Notice where you try to manipulate a Peaceful experience by getting people or things to change, or by believing thoughts that you will be more Peaceful in the future when people or things are different.
That's it - just notice. Because you are Peace - this noticing exposes the silliness of the endeavor to make Peace or wait for Peace - and this insane tendency resolves on its own.
That person is happier than me because they are wealthier, better looking, have a lover, have better neighbors, etc." In truth, that person appears happier than you because the ego seeks a good excuse for the unhappy state of mind that you're experiencing.
The projection onto the other is just a diversion from what's really going on - it validates your suffering with a reason, and thus gives energy of suffering more power over you.
You're invited to leave the other out of it so that you can go into your emotional charges without any story, and thus allow your unchanging Wholeness to resolve them.
With much appreciation. ♥
While you are thinking about the drama that triggered an uncomfortable feeling, you cannot also meet your inner child's needs for attention, love and compassion. These kinds of thoughts are the mind's feeble efforts to make you feel better by focusing your attention on figuring out how to control the situation and people involved.
Said efforts can only result in surface changes while reinforcing hidden agendas to gain attention, love and compassion from others by casting shadows that make you out be treated wrongly over and over again.
When you're ready to step into your own power, start feeling the pain of your emotions with the intent to give your inner child whatever Comfort is needed to return to Wholeness. To stay focused on your intent, keep recognizing the thoughts that resonate with your pain as a Diversion, and let them subside on their own.
Sincerely expressing that which upsets you is always more transformative than pretending you're feeling fine. But it's also a projection onto the other of the delusion you picked up in infancy.
Said projection keeps emotional turmoil returning to your experience again and again.
When you're ready, leave the other as they are and turn your focus inward. Feel the feelings, and just witness as the mind tirelessly tries to tempt you into re-believing in blame and victimhood.
In this way, circumstances and relationships transform on their own - like Magic.
You cannot be abandoned because you are always Alone - the other can do nothing more than reflect your state of mind.
It's the unconscious belief that your wellbeing depends on someBody that's responsible for the anger and other emotions associated with abandonment.
Instead of blaming the other for revealing your truth, you're invited to feel the depths of the delusion you created in infancy - and have been re-believing ever since.
In this way, you can mature out of dependency and discover a level of security that needs noOne yet enjoys everyOne
What's called the 'twin flame' or 'soul mate' is just another mental concept, and chasing mental concepts is a setup for suffering.
Every person in your experience is your own reflection...To the extent you project fulfillment in your own beingness, people appear to reflect that back to you. If your desire is a close one on one connection, a person appears to fulfill that desire - but only to the extent you are projecting fulfillment without them.
Likewise, to the extent you think you need another person to fulfill you - people appear as reminders that there's no fulfillment to be found 'out there'. Sometimes what you call a ‘special’ person may come along for a while, and eventually leave you disillusioned because they can only reflect your own lack of fulfillment.
So how to project fulfillment in your own beingness? Simply notice when you’re chasing ideas that ANY person can make your life better, easier or more fulfilled...and focus on your breath. In this way, you can come to enjoy this moment exactly as it is - even if that means enjoying your imagination of how it feels to be adored by another person right now.
In the moment of sincere enjoyment - fulfillment is your projection - and your self becomes like a magnet for people who desire to share that enjoyment with you.
The belief that somebody else's expression of sadness can be responsible for your sad feeling is just an idea that keeps the root of your personally held sorrows hidden from awareness.
The experience of sadness is only an indication that one is believing thoughts that feel sad - and no thought is really true. In this regard, you're invited to experience the feeling of sadness as it arises within you, while observing the untruths (thoughts) that are responsible for this feeling.
When the sadness that you perceive in the other is no longer triggering dis-ease within you, personal comfort can be offered without compounding the delusion that's responsible for sadness.
Moreover, such presence creates space for the root cause of sadness to also be seen from the other's perspective, if and when they're ready for the Truth that resolves all sorrows.
Let sadness be as it is without re-believing in the reasons that caused the sadness. In this way, sorrow gradually loses influence over the consciousness of humanity, and Acceptance invariably prevails.
Trying to get people to treat you better is like saying 'give me more of this feeling that I really, really don't want' ... And the Creative Force responds in like kind.
Believing in the need to influence or control personal behavior, to know why they treat you as they do, and even to get relationship closure - are all ways the mind keeps itself in charge of creating harmonious relationships - which it cannot do.
But when you allow simple observation of what's being shown to you by the other, and move according to what uplifts you in the moment - harmony between You and your mind created self is being allowed - which is reflected in all of your personal relationships.
As you take more Responsibility in this regard, the mind naturally relaxes its feeble endeavors to create beneficial behavior because all behavior is being realized for the Benefit that it is bestowing Right Now.