Your story is unique to you, but like you, everyone in the world has judged themselves as being a victim at some point in their life. That self judgment, created through your perception of your experience, formed a belief that you need to be in control – which attached to your awareness through emotion (energy in motion).
Unpleasant emotional energy consumes a portion of your limited awareness as egoic mind endeavors to protect you from the feeling by controlling the specifics of your life. However, ego only knows your own beliefs, thus it consumes much of your precious energy trying to figure Life out from a very limited resource of information.
Every time you perceive that something went “wrong”, which causes you to experience uncomfortable or painful emotion, more judgments are created about the egoic “need” to protect you from people, circumstances and even yourself. In this way, it’s natural to feel a greater need for control as you continue to accumulate life experience.
Just imagine if you could return to the innocence you were born with while still having the benefit of your experience for the adjustment of your perception. You can! And it starts with awareness of your perceived need to control anything, deep breath – and letting it go.
As you look for them, you will begin to see the self judgments that caused you to develop the perception that you “need” anything or that things “should” be different – and as you see, you are healed.
* Note: Ego is the master of illusion – it can hold many of your judgments and beliefs hidden beneath emotional layers that can divert your from the truth even as you are sincerely seeking it. If you are inspired to dissolve the trappings of mind, I encourage you to find someone willing and able to be your mirror for the purpose presenting you with what you are not seeing on your own. If you are interested in engaging my service for this purpose, please contact me via email.