Just because I can allow forgiveness for any and all trespasses, it doesn’t mean that I’ve become permissive.
For instance, when I believed that my mom’s ex-partner was unforgivable for having sexually violated me, that made me into a victim/survivor.
This perspective led to a lack of compassion in me for the pain he must have been experiencing, which spilled over to lack of compassion for what anyone else was going through…and because I could not recognize their humanness, people became as objects to me…especially my own children.
It’s relatively true that through judgment, I was successful in protecting my daughter from an experience similar to mine, and for that I’m very grateful.
It’s also true that I was unable to recognize that my daughter felt hurt by my controlling, demeaning and sarcastic behavior for many years as she was growing up.
Now that I can recognize the man who caused the most pain for me in the light of pure love, it doesn’t mean I’m going to hang out with him or have him come over and watch my kids.
But forgiveness has made me quite sensitive to the energy of people who are afraid, and who mean to express their fear by taking advantage of others. When I encounter such an individual, I don’t need to pursue any judgment that arises in my mind…and so compassion for whatever they are going through is naturally shared.
Because compassion is universal, I’m naturally moved toward those who are capable of loving me well…and I’m naturally moved to protect others from being violated or used by another person…all without the use of control, manipulation or disparagement.