It’s simply insane – the belief that the Child needs discipline, pressure and/or manipulation in order to be deserving of love. What’s really desired for the child is Freedom – the same Freedom our Free Spirit desires for ourselves – but which we are too fearful to allow.
Because we do not recognize this self created conflict between Free Spirit and the make believe self, we unwittingly do everything we can to suppress Free Spirit by believing our own judgments and enforcing them on our children.
In the name of responsible parenting, we raise our kids to hold the same limitations about the world and about themselves that we have been unwilling to give up. We teach them that without our ‘guidance’, they would be unloveable, unworthy, and that they would fail.
If we knew our own being, we would not pretend that disciplining the child can create love, value or success for them. We’d allow them to make their own choices and to be responsible for those choices – while enjoying our experience of them.
But instead we largely operate from this fantasy that we are responsible for the Child’s choices, and we don’t want to look bad, or be upset if our child suffers or creates suffering. So we opt for the illusion of control.
There’s freedom in knowing that we have the freedom to choose, and that we are choosing in each moment. The experience of such self responsibility is what allows the creative genius in each of us to blossom.
The child is already free – the whole structure of discipline and rules is a mindset the child will break as soon as they become aware of their power. In this way, the child does not need anyone to set them free, but by extending freedom to the child, we extend it to all of Life, and that opens ourselves to receive the experience of more creativity, peace, abundance and joy.
What does it take to extend freedom to the child? Simply notice when we are trying to make the child ‘better’ than they are right now, or than they can be without our input. This is illusion! We are just fooling ourselves by believing that disciplining, pressuring or otherwise manipulating the Child is going to create anything we actually want.
Just notice. That’s all there is to do. You are the Light in your own dark room. Be in awareness.