Your perceived inadequacies are reflected in your experience of other people – especially those in closest relation to you.
Watch how you feel when your children, partners, siblings, parents, etc. fail to live your ideas of what’s good for them. Giving unsolicited advice or otherwise trying to fix them is a reactionary effort to suppress these uncomfortable feelings.
This is the mind’s attempt to make you feel better. It’s the kind of ‘selfishness’ that yields diminishing returns because it causes your feelings of inadequacy to project more powerfully into your world.
When you’re ready to opt out of this silly game of self abuse, simply stop interfering in your loved ones experiences, and feel your own emotions around the perceived inadequacies that are being reflected back to you.
When you finally give your feelings the attention they deserve, the denied aspects of your self can return to the Wholeness that you are – and the others in your life will evolve to reflect that integration.