In many ways children serve humanity by exposing inner anger. Controlling the child’s behavior is just another way of repressing that anger.
How about letting the Child be as (s)he is, and finally feeling the emotional charge his/her expression is triggering in you, hmmm?
Having goals for the child is just asking for suffering – for you and for them.
Give it up! You can’t possibly know what’s right for them. The child is a sovereign being with their own unique purpose – let them Be.