There is no ‘we’ , ‘them’ or ‘us’ except as perceptual illusion. In reality, there is only One, and that One is You. In this regard, your interpersonal relations are but a reflection of how your mind made (false) self relates with the true You.
All people, things and circumstances are expressions of thought – which you attract for your experience according your present vibratory offering (the culmination of energetic frequencies that the focus of your attention has caused you to emanate before).
Attention focused through the preconception that self and others are separate activates egoic ‘need’ to idolize and demonize human behavior in order to define who you are and how you fit in with the others who appear to be around you.
As you experience Life through the filter of a separate self, fear permeates your perception and the ego forms layers of self judgment in your energy of awareness for your protection against what you have determined to be ‘out there’. As these layers of judgmental belief accumulate, the perceived need to control self and others is amplified, and relational tension is experienced.
This egoic (fearful) need for control holds awareness in a patterned loop of mental manipulation intended to create that which is idolized, while unwittingly giving attention to (and thereby expanding the energy of) that which is demonized.
In other words, when you (through your energy of awareness) give meaning to thought patterns that express the need to create happy experience and/or avoid unhappy experience, your attention is being focused upon the lack of what you enjoy – and manifestation follows accordingly.
In this way, the experience of suffering has expanded and will continue to expand until awareness (‘who you are’, before any thought or thought form) is absolved of meaning imposed by belief in separation.
This is not to say that you have to learn to tolerate any behavior or maintain any relations that do not support and uplift your energy of awareness. Your self and the others in your experience are reflecting your state of mind, both for your enjoyment and to inspire creativity for the expansion of enjoyment; and you alone are responsible for speaking your relative ‘truth’ and setting boundaries that are conducive to your own enjoyment.
By consciously allowing your self to feel intolerance when it comes up while observing the thoughts that cross your awareness, the judgment you are holding for you is being exposed to consciousness, and absolved thereby (but only to the extent you are not judging the judgment). In this way, your energy of awareness is effortlessly and gracefully uplifted toward the frequency of Divine Acceptance – whereby attention focused on appreciation for that which you enjoy comes more natural to you.
The more attention focused on appreciation/love/joy, the less energy available for focusing on the perception of lack. Sure, lackful thinking will continue to cross your awareness as long as you are focused in this material environment, but those thoughts can be recognized as creative influences, and attention refocused accordingly – thus leading your awareness in the direction of ever-expansive enjoyment.
As your vibratory offering (state of mind) is transformed to resonate more with the frequency of enjoyment, your self and the others in your experience evolve to reflect that transformation – and the experience of abundantly joyful relations prevails.