A BIG trigger for me is the experience of men who regard women as objects.
It’s not that I believe there’s anything wrong or unholy about men who show up this way… but I recognize the importance of clarity and sincerity about what I’m experiencing…so that I can hear my inner voice as to how my response can resolve any misperception, or whether it’s even valuable to continue the relationship.
I’ve learned through experience and observation that men who see women as their equal feminine counterpart are honored to provide for her comfort and well being. They do so because they value her attention, not as a way to manipulate sex or anything else out of her.
In contrast, men who view women as objects might refer to picking up the check on dates as “paying for sex”. And I’ve heard men in long, sour relationships regarding any support they give their partner as “still paying for sex”.
This kind of objectification of women, and others like the “wandering eye” treatment, pointing out her “imperfections”, or otherwise putting her down serves to validate the woman’s sense of unworthiness…and this doesn’t serve anyone at all.
In fact, a man who objectifies his woman serves to deny happiness for himself, his partner, and everyone else in their sphere of influence, especially their children.
In my experience, a man who shows himself in this way, is likely to turn out more so as the relationship progresses. If the woman permits him, her partner will continue getting what he wants by playing on his woman’s insecurities for as long as he thinks it’s valuable to do so.
…And most times, the only way a man will learn that this game of pain has no value is when a woman to whom he’s emotionally attached sets firm yet loving boundaries.
Sisters! We can do this. It’s time to stand up for that which we value, especially if there’s fear that taking a stand could destroy our intimate relationships. After all….the only thing we have to lose is our addiction to men who are intent on preventing us from recognizing our value, and theirs.