Truly harmonious relations are cultivated by self acceptance, not self control. In every moment that you are trying to avoid hurting anyOne’s feelings, you are forcing an unnatural expression – which hinders authentic connection and manifests as disharmony in your relations.
The key is not in controlling your behavior, it’s in expressing the truth of your present state of being and noticing how your emotions unfold. Your emotional response to the ‘other’s’ feedback reveals how you feel about the judgments you are holding, allowing you to relax those judgments and accept you, just as you are.
Total acceptance of your state of being (which includes all perceived others) engenders vulnerability which is the foundation for harmonious relations. However, when you are focused on manipulating the form of feedback you receive from the other, the cunning mind activates, and essentially rejects your present state of being – which magnetizes dysfunction, confusion and pain in your relations.
Trust that your natural expression is exactly what the ‘other’ needs according to their unique point of view and remain devoted to The One being expressed through your perception/field of awareness, and your relations will be easily and gracefully evolved to express the harmony that is the truth of ‘who you are’.
The mind intent on extracting a comfortable response from the other commands the Will to act in conflict with the heart, thus validating the separate self; but the mind intent on acceptance of ‘All that Is’ commands the Will to follow the direction of the Heart – and the self is allowed to be dissolved in Love…finally!