The self that you refer to with disdain is not your real Self, but your self image. Your real self is the Being that transcends your mind and witnesses all of your experiences with complete Love and patience as your ego matures enough to recognize what's true in you.

As long as we identify ourselves as the mental patterns we have been conditioned to follow, we create our own punishment. But we can choose in any moment to unify with the Self that is Unconditional Love, and start creating blessings for ourselves and for the world.