For about 5 years I took the idea that “I create my own reality” literally. This was good for me at the time because I had experienced such extreme spiritual abuse as a child that I wanted nothing to do with spirituality until I thought it would help me get what I wanted out of life.
Now that I’ve had my own experience of what’s true though, I see that believing in such a fantasy was causing conflict, especially in my interpersonal relationships. It’s not that the idea is totally false, it’s just that the ego turns the idea of people creating their own realities into a game of learning how to get what is personally wanted.
In my experience, whenever something “good” happened I would try to figure out how to recreate it and whenever something “bad” happened I would try to see how I created it so that I wouldn’t have to create it again. But what was really occurring was attachment to a sensation that felt good and resistance to a sensation that felt bad.
Whenever I played this game the ego would gain strength, until even the good sensations were met with anxiety because I wanted them to stay and not turn into bad feelings and lessons again.
But now that I have seen for myself what is true, life is not personal for me. Whether a good or bad sensation arises, I either remain centered or return to center after being briefly taken back into the dream of being a separate self.
In this, I’ve found that there is really no attachment or resistance to people, circumstances or external objects. Attachment and resistance is a mental reaction to “good” and “bad” sensations, and the external world is only a reflection of those reactions.
If I am reactive to sensations, I create misery for myself and the people who are close to me. But when I recognize that life is not even personal and ride every wave of sensation with gratitude, peace and happiness is increased exponentially for me and my relations.
In this way I create my own reality, not in the literal sense as if everything that happens in my perception was somehow designed by my personal self. Because this understanding has permeated my mind, I hope for nothing, I want nothing, I resist nothing, I hate nothing, and I’m exempt from being relieved or disappointed by circumstances.
I simply allow life to happen as it does and I experience every sensation exactly as it is. This is Heaven, but most people will not join me here because attachment to their personal self has them mesmerized in the belief that they are the subject and the world is full of objects that can either make them happy or unhappy.
I understand the burden of carrying around this heavy belief system, and I’m here to help people see their way through it when they’re willing to give their selves up. But in the meantime, there is only compassion for the misery that people who operate under the idea that “I create my own reality” make for themselves.
I am neither affected by them, nor do I have any desire to make them realize true peace and happiness.
With love and appreciation!