I experienced a lot of confusion and frustration when I thought that I wanted things out of life. Some time ago I became aware that desire naturally flows through me, like a river that never dries up…but for awhile I didn’t realize that desire didn’t belong to me, and so I thought that I wanted “my desires” to be made manifest.
In this present state of being without wanting (some call this desirelessness), the river of desire still continues to flow through me…it’s just that there is no longer identification with wanting for any desire to manifest.
At some point it became obvious to me that the purpose of desire is to create opportunities to allow more joy through feeling sensations, but instead of allowing more joy right then and there, I noticed that my mind had developed a strong tendency to employ mental strategies in order to pursue desire.
Once I became aware of this tendency, I noticed more and more how unnatural it felt to pursue any desire at the expense of present moment joy. So instead of reacting to desire by moving into mental strategies, my mind gradually became more willing to give up strategies in favor of allowing the sensation of desire itself to move my emotional body into alignment with joy.
At this point, my mind’s dominant tendency is to allow joy no matter what. And since joy only leads to more joy, I can expect to experience more joy going forward (which is a joy in itself).
The joy I speak of is not dependent on any outcome or happening of this world. Indeed, as soon as there’s wanting for a particular outcome, I can feel my emotional body immediately being moved in resistance to joy.
And since I’m willing to feel the sensation of resisting joy, I’m naturally moved back into the vibrational frequency of joy without hardship or striving.
Because of this, everything gets done through me, as I’m effortlessly moved toward that which is truly desired by me….the physical manifestation of which is often different from what the mind thinks is desired.
Knowing that This is available to everyone who desires it, the river of desire fills me with eager anticipation and willingness to share. Mahalo!